Category: Surviving Abuse
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When Simple Answers Won’t Do: Why I hate Small Talk
Sometimes I forget how messed up I am or how dark my life has been. I’m not sure how it happens because the shadows are always on the edges of me. I think I’m so comfortable with them, I just forget that they’re there. In this post, I talk about the pain of small talk…
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Not Bad Enough: The Family that Preys Together
My family says that the abuse was “Not Bad Enough”. As if the physical evidence is more important than the emotional damage done by a man too weak to control his urges. In this post, I talk about that and begin to dive into the many excuses that people make to deny abuse and blame…
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On How it Started: The Myth & the True Shape of Things
Uncovering the myth and truths in the events that led to my children ending their silence and, in doing so, their abuse. Both sides of the story uncover truths about the institution of abuse, the systems that perpetrate it and what we can do to disrupt those systems.
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Why Don’t You Keep Your Mouth Shut?
This is a personal family matter. It’s none of anyone’s business You’re hurting our family name. This is bad for our reputation. I keep hearing these and so many more. So many people are bothered by me sharing mine and my children’s story. I get it: When secrets become safety, it’s scary when someone starts…
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Crying in my Car: The Effects of Trauma we Don’t Talk About
On Mondays I have standing (back-to-back) meetings and the kids have individual therapy, so I work in my car. This morning, my hotspot was lagging, and my brain was screaming “You’re not enough”. I dodged questions like dirty looks, hoping no one would notice the lag (they did, of course). In that moment, I felt…
By Shadow and Stone 