By Shadow and Stone
The counterpoint at which I sit un-abashed, un-abandoned, un-abused
The Porcelain Doll: Part I
The things that broke her hollowed her out. Now there’s a mute mouse where her heart once was. On the quietest of days, she hopes to hear a beat in there, but the most she’s ever heard was the sound…
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The Pen, the Sword and The Song…in memory of my Grandma Eula Mae
Yesterday, my Grandma Eula Mae would have been 93 years old. My most vivid image of her is one of her lying across her bed with a notebook, pen, a Bible and a continuously in progress game of solitaire. That…
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Out of Darkness: Light Shall Grow
I don’t know about y’all, but clutter is one of my biggest enemies. It took me YEARS to recognize that it was spark to the special hellfire that is #adhd triggered #anxiety. So why is it so hard for me…
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When Simple Answers Won’t Do: Why I hate Small Talk
Sometimes I forget how messed up I am or how dark my life has been. I’m not sure how it happens because the shadows are always on the edges of me. I think I’m so comfortable with them, I just…
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The Inner Workings of my Brain: On BiPolar Disorder
This will be the first post I write about my mental health diagnosis (although it certainly won’t be the last). The truth is this is one of my darkest shadows. I have yet to shed the shame around my diagnosis,…
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Not Bad Enough: The Family that Preys Together
My family says that the abuse was “Not Bad Enough”. As if the physical evidence is more important than the emotional damage done by a man too weak to control his urges. In this post, I talk about that and…
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On How it Started: The Myth & the True Shape of Things
Uncovering the myth and truths in the events that led to my children ending their silence and, in doing so, their abuse. Both sides of the story uncover truths about the institution of abuse, the systems that perpetrate it and…
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My New Journal: On Journey’s Ends and Beginnings
It’s the end of an era; the last page of a story written with an unknown beginning. In this post, I talk about filling my journal and the importance of all of us leaving a mark on the world.
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Tiny Little Boxes: The Only Thing that Matters
Protect your son from the world… …put him in a box so tiny that he can’t breathe, or speak, or function in the real world. Teach him that god only loves them if he is ‘normal’. Place scenes of bodies…
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Why Don’t You Keep Your Mouth Shut?
This is a personal family matter. It’s none of anyone’s business You’re hurting our family name. This is bad for our reputation. I keep hearing these and so many more. So many people are bothered by me sharing mine and…
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Crying in my Car: The Effects of Trauma we Don’t Talk About
On Mondays I have standing (back-to-back) meetings and the kids have individual therapy, so I work in my car. This morning, my hotspot was lagging, and my brain was screaming “You’re not enough”. I dodged questions like dirty looks, hoping…
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A Time to Shift
I feel the shadow rolling in; blanketing my mind like the mourning fog. The time to shift is upon us. AC Rodriguez, 8/28/2022
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By Shadow and Stone 