I wrote the last words on the last page of my journal, today. I got it as a gift for Christmas in 2015, although I didn’t start writing in it until the following year. So, it’s an old one.
It’s been with me through so many things:
- My divorce and remarriage
- My diagnosis
- Both of my recovery journeys
- My spiritual awakening
- My deconstruction
- Whatever paradigm shift we entered into in 2016
…and now the death of my Father.
It’s amazing to me that it lasted that long but then again, I’ve never been a consistent person and it certainly wasn’t my only source of writing things down during those times.
The biggest thing that jumps out to me is the fact that I had no idea what story I was writing when I began. On the first few pages, I even say that.
It starts out with a message to my children and with the intention of leaving behind a living record of my thoughts and feelings. It was meant to be (and is) a record of the rawness of the moment. I suppose that’s what all journals are.
In the first entry I write:
I want you to know all the things that make me the person I am today…because I will never be this person again. So I plan to fill this journal with all sorts of randomness. Like me, it will be imperfect and seemingly irrelevat at the time.
But, as you will learn–nothing is really random OR irrelevant.
I will tell you the stories of my soul. Hopefully you will find something in these words–one little thing that helps you along your way. Anything that can you give some direction or make you feel or think or understand your ancestry a little bit better.AC Rodriguez, January 6, 2016
Look, I know that journaling is overrated. I feel like every therapist and spiritual healer touts journaling as a one-size fits all method of healing and recovery.
But, to me, it’s more than that. Journaling (or writing in general) is the only way I know to leave my mark on the world; to offer up the pieces of me meant to help with healing.
Leaving Your Mark on the World
And then I consider history. Where would we be in understanding of the past if not for the ones who memorialized their lives in little books and paintings and cave walls?
I think of my Grandma Eula Mae; writing her stories and letters on little scraps of paper but never binding them together.
How I wish I had those stories today so that I could know her: REALLY know her.
Sure, we have the stories that people tell about us and those are important things as well but they can’t hold a candle to the stories we tell about ourselves; the stories that reach into the depths of us.
Make sure they survive so that I can live and breathe in this realm forevermore.
And what are you waiting for? Today is the day to start writing your stories and leaving your mark on the world that will come after you. Whether it’s through journaling, drawing or speaking (or a million other little things), you have something to offer the collective.
Find out what it is and how to get it out. You will be lighter but most of all, the world will be all the better for having it.
Oh, and also—-
I’m excited about my new Journal and all the journeys we’ll walk together.
If you’re in the market for a nice leather journal, I highly recommend Etsy. It’s a great way to find great products, support small businesses and in a lot of cases, reduce your carbon footprint.
Eww–that sounded like an add. I promise it’s not a paid sponsorship; that’s really how I feel.
Here is a link to the new journal, if you want to check it out:
240 Pg Handstitched Leather Journal Black /brown/ Purple – Etsy
Made in Australia- from beautifully embossed leather hide.This beautiful journal is made in 5 different colors and is available in 3 paper options. Size- A5 (8x6inches)/ 240 Pages (approx) Each individual journal takes an average of 4 hours from start to finish over a period of 2 days.
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